Mothers Day, Friendship Day or just another empty day!
It may seem unbelievable but I have not even been able to mourn her till now 😔. Before her death it was a very very lonely race against time to keep her alive in the best possible manner. Not that she would have minded if it was any other way.
When she died, I had my dad and daughter who broke down inconsolably. The sisters who were attending to her, they too. I ended up consoling them forgetting that my friend is gone. Soon after, the race to perform all religious obligations started and they needed to be picture perfect as well. Thanks to Khushi, they were. Another 15 days went by performing different religious duties and then there was emptiness, a hollowness . . .
Even today, it has not sunk that she is gone. It seems that she has gone to Habba Kadal for a few hours to meet her parents and fulfil household obligations. I know how difficult it was for her to do it alone as Dad would be in Gulmarg slogging to earn bread.
I would love going with her to Habba Kadal even at the cost of being called matamaal khor but I liked going with her to be with her. But this time she went to Habba Kadal alone!
I want to go somewhere high up the mountains and just be with her memories and no one one around for 100s of km to disturb me. Just me, her memories and my questions to Mahadev . . . to come to terms with the reality.
More than a mother, she was an incredible friend. There is no topic that I have not discussed with her whether we agreed or not. Things like why can’t menstruating women do puja. She would gladly discuss and she would accept what is wrong and fix it! Heated debates on how Kashmiri Pandits diluted own customs and adopted new ones. Not having meat on Tuesday and Thursday. We reached a compromise that while travelling everything is halaal :-)
Both of us liked Perrier sparkling water with a dash of lemon and black salt (we called it fart salt) and we would laugh every time we had it. Deemaa fart salt drink peena hai :-) :-) :-)
You don’t do this kind of shit with your parents but she was game all the time because she was a friend!
To the emptiness of this glass, the unopened can, missing lemon and closed lid on the fart salt dispenser. We keep looking for you in all directions Deemaa, one day you will have to give us a darshan!
Tight nalmot from Kashvi, Dadda, Khushi and your friend!
